Saturday, June 27, 2009

‘Cause rust never sleeps

Met with some old co-workers of mine, ended up attending an outdoor BBQ/drinking session with them for a few hours. Only had a couple shots and a few beers, so no hangover to speak of, which is good considering all of the stuff I need to do today. But I’ll get to all of that in a moment.

First, a few words about these guys: None of us are exactly ‘high class’, but you could consider D. to be trailer trash. A twenty-something with a pregnant girlfriend, working an entry level job, his is a sad case. The worst part is, over the course of the last year, he hasn’t changed one bit.

Another guy, L. hasn’t changed either in the past year, but he’s in his late fifties. Further, he’s already gotten his life mostly straightened out, although he still deals with feelings for a crazy ex. Back in the day, L. was a member of a local motorcycle gang, did the party scene, and travelled around the country. Now he’s working entry-level and saving for a new custom motorcycle. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind ending up like this, minus the crazy ex.

What I don’t want to end up as, and where D. is heading, is T.

T. from all I can gather, never went through the whole explore and grow phase. He’s in his late fifties, like L., but has no interesting past, no great accomplishments, no particular hobbies or goals. The man works entry-level management. It’s sad to speak to him on matters other than work.

After the BBQ, and the drive home (I sobered up quite nicely), it just struck me – in the midst of researching a change in major, how vital it is to avoid getting stuck on autopilot. You’ve got to constantly be growing and seeking some new goal, or you stagnate. Better to burn out than to fade away, and this cliché is hammered home by what I saw yesterday.

I’m blessed (and I don’t really see why, considering the nature of my lifestyle), in that I have grown and changed a great deal over the last two years. And for the whole, it has been for the better.

Meh. If I write much more it will turn into something akin to a stoner rant.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

She’s running on

Remember the two different female friends of mine who had to leave college due to pregnancy? Apparently, the one who ran off has deleted her personal cell and is now ‘using’ the cell of her ultra-controlling “boyfriend”. No one, family or otherwise, has been able to reach her. Sigh. For the last time: Make us wrap it up? M’kay?


Whatever we may tell you otherwise to get into your pants, we aren’t worth it.

Speaking of, I’m looking forwards to seeing a certain redhead later this July – and in august, especially if my tour of the new apartment this Sunday leads me to sign a lease. What better way to break in the new rooms?images4

An interesting side-track, I think the ads for alcohol and rehab are worth much, much, less than ads for transcendental meditation and inner-peace. Although I have more clicks on this blog, earnings per click is substantially less than the occasional click on the cult-blog. Ah well, if you need the treatment, click anyways…

Speaking of alcohol, I’ve got some favors to call in, and I think they’re worth exactly one bottle of spiced rum. I’m not a particularly big fan of rum (From favorite to least: Scotch, Tequila, over-proof bourbon, American Whiskey’s, Everclear, Vodka, random liquor, rum, good wines, bad wines, and in last place, Ghetto wines and liqueurs) … but Ms. Redhead should appreciated it.



I’ve got to stop smoking for approximately the next week, as I prepare for the internship. For whatever reason, although my cigarette intake has fluctuated between a pack and two singles a day – I have always been capable of taking weeklong (and one two month) breaks. Nicotine has not made me a complete slave, though I do experience cravings.


Speaking of the internship, it’s time to start studying what little accounting I know. As per usual, the things learned in college have vanished into the air. Even though I’ve only taken a basic course, in some ways, the fact its basic level stuff means I should know it all the more. As it stands, adjusting entries are a vague nightmare, I confuse GAAP with the clothing store, and trial balances are my savings after paying the court.

Onto something completely different, my Salvia shipment has another week before I can call and figure out what’s going on. Due to the summer backlog, it can (and has in the past) take 4 – 6 weeks after ordering to have the thing shipped. It’s been five. So at this rate, July is going to be very, very busy:

Internship until the 2nd, followed by a doctors appointment on the 3rd, I hope to purchase my new apartment by the 7th, I’m going to receive my shipment sometime around then, before I light up will need to saturate my new hometown with job applications and personal visits, on the 23’rd – 25th, I’ve got a Fraternity retreat, and somewhere in all of that there’s a FWB who wants to spend a week with me.

So yeah, July is going to be crazy. In a good way. August will be even crazier, we’ve set up two mega-parties within the first week, and are holding a mixer… and it only gets more inebriated from there.


Wednesday, June 24, 2009

How ‘bout them Latin women?

Governor Sanford has declared his infidelity during the past year, with a “dear” friend from Argentina. I’m not going to say anymore on the subject, except that I’m disappointed; I’m sure there will be plenty of pundits elsewhere who can devote far more time to tearing him apart. I for one am more concerned with the health-care plan and the further waste of my tax money – Sanford has admitted his “mistake”, and is taking the responsible course.


Hearing such stories on the news, especially when delivered in such a heartfelt manner, can lead to some reassessment of one’s personal life. I’m proud to say that at last check, I’m still just hurting myself. And speaking of my vices – I suddenly have a ton of alcohol/drug rehab ads on the site. Has google finally gotten the measure of my content?

Actually though, I really haven’t posted much on the alcohol scene, and the two whiskey bottles in my trunk are nearly empty. Does google know something I don’t? Am I about to fall into a windfall of liquor?


Not at the rate the cult blog is going – visits continue to merely trickle in. The organization is now running a charity. This blog is doing much better, thank y’all, but I think it’s not quite time to stop submitting more job applications (60+ and counting atm).

Early morning Cigarette.

It’d be nice to check my mail right now. But the university where I hold my primary address has lost the battle with the internet, again. Today’s downed server follows on the heels of our switch to google mail, and I wouldn’t be surprised if we got hacked within twenty-four hours. I like google, but I also like having a private mail server, with its physical location just across from my dorm.


Yes, we do get a nice storage increase, but come on! I’ve already got SIXTY (that I can remember) gmail accounts. I don’t need a sixty-first. And of course, I am highly wary of the security of all of this. The fact that the entire system is down right now doesn’t help my anxiety.

On a side note, walmart photo printing has some good deals. Nothing beats the Kinkos/fedex $3 for 14x17” prints I’ve gotten in the past, but $15 for a 20x30” isn’t a bad price at all. Still, I have yet to gather enough pin ups to make it worth an investment and I might hold off and buy a carton of cigarettes instead, depending on how quickly the FDA is moving to curtail nicotine content.

On to another side note,

I’m really hoping they hurry up and institute the graphic warning labels. What better way to for the government to turn off young males seeking a way to rebel than to make my drab pack of American Spirits a badass portrait of death? I know I’ll buy one just to put on display. This whole silliness about protecting the children is being done the wrong way.


I’ve had a friend come down with throat cancer, and I have friends with asthma to whom smoke is more than just unpleasant. Don’t tell me Phillip Morris has lied to me about the safety of my cigarettes. Don’t tell me that I smoke American Spirits because I’ve been mislead think they’re healthier* (see bottom of page). Don’t patronize my peers, who smoke to relieve stress or who are addicted, as helpless victims… give them real help, not more government.

This is a shameless tactic to expand government authority, giving it power where it should not. Next we will regulate the saturated fat in our burgers, and the alcohol content of our whiskey and beer.

It is a sad year for America and any libertarian who resides within our borders.

*I find that American Spirits DO NOT leave me with the same negative physical symptoms as my unfiltered camels and pal mals. That said, I prefer their flavor, length and buzz, to other filtered brands, and smoke them for those reasons, not health. (For some odd reason, I’m not a fan of their unfiltered variety.)

20060424122647 … Wait, does that say sample carton? How did I miss this?!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Competing with Messiah College.

I loathe manual submission blog directories. But I’m stuck, thanks to this sites similarity to another site. A search for college messiah, or collegiate messiah, and you will end up at Messiah College. Really? Is this some sort of godly karma for my past deeds? (Actually, I think that would be rather hilarious: Hell is starting a blog about a cult, drugs, sex and money, and then watching the traffic redirected to Messiah College.)


Either way, the struggle is on to at least get on the first page with my own keyword. The Cult-blog never had this trouble, it was up and running within twenty-four hours thanks to a slash and burn Yahoo-answers campaign. Plus, it’s got a unique name that isn’t conflicting with a college institution. 

So a quick recap of what’s going on: I’m probably going to get a new apartment, The trip to Washington D.C. went well, I’ve got an internship coming up, and I’m still trying to find more pin-ups for said apartment.

For more political stuff: I’ve lost two more female friends to pregnancy, and am unhappy with Obama’s use of the word “witness”.

Honeymoon over.

Forgive me for the politic; I am still a political science major. Ignore this one and skip to my attempt to get out of res-life, or my search for pin-ups, or my plan to radically switch my major, if politics isn’t your thing.

“Honeymoon over.”

That is what MSNBC’s host Chris Mathews claimed of Obama’s presidency, prior to this morning’s public address. Apparently, his approval numbers have hit a plateau, amidst growing concerns over the economy.


Obama’s address this morning, focused on three particular subjects: Iran, a Green Economy, and Health-care reform. Meh. I am less interested in the speech, in which no politician ever lays out specifics, and more interested in the question and answer session at the end.

First impression: Obama is sticking fast to the “witness” buzzword: The United States will be a “witness” to the courage of the Iranian people. The United States will be a “witness” to the woman shot to death in the streets of Tehran. Sigh. A witness and no more.

When asked by one reporter if there was going to be any penalty for the crimes of the regime, Obama answered that the international community was a “witness”, and that if the Iranian regime wished to have the respect of the international community, it would heed its citizens.

Let’s restate this: “Is there a penalty for Iran’s crimes against its protestors?”

Answer: “Yes, they will lose respect in the international community”

When asked if there was a red-line that the Iranian regime could not cross without the United States intervening, Obama responded that “I’ve laid out a path for Iran’s leadership, to come into the international community. Part of this requires that they listen to the current dialogue in their country.”

Let’s restate that: “If Iran starts widespread Stalinesque purges, will we do anything?”

Answer: “We won’t let them be a part of the international community”

I’m sick of watching rhetoricians dance around the real issues. Now, I personally would take the same position as Obama, but for vastly different reasons. Because I am not a hypocrite, I will happily stand up on my Nationalist principles and cite that military intervention in Iran is not yet viable… yet.

There is a great difference between that, and those who would champion “Universal Human Rights”, only to turn around and say that those Universal rights end where another nation’s begins. But, hey, I love nothing more than “witnessing” the suffering of other human beings.

Hypocrisy is what galls me. Not opinion differences. If Obama came flat out and said he didn’t give a rat’s ass about Iranians and therefore wasn’t going to do jack, I’d have more respect for him than I do now. Don’t preach to me how courageous these men and women are, and then deny them help.

Have we forgotten the civil right’s movement? When white preachers claimed that they were “witness” to the suffering of the protestors? Remember how that clearly empty word drew such flack for its blatant hypocrisy? It was, and is, a blatant cop-out to allow those in power to preach one thing, and then do another.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Another girl down.


News has come in today, that yet another female friend is pregnant and has dropped out of college. That makes two this summer that I knew personally.

Now, don’t mistake me, I am hardly a champion of abstinence (only a few days ago I ended up with a charming waitress)… but the level of irresponsibility that pervades this campus infuriates me.

This young-adult bull shit that the media portrays at all levels (from Juno, to the Secret life of the American teenager), is so counter to reality, so hypocritical, and makes such a mockery of the reality I see everyday… that I am at a loss for words.


I’ve seen two girls lose a shot at their education, and while one at least was putting out to a guy who took responsibility and will marry and support her, the other ran off with an emotionally abusive sack of shit. Neither was using any form of protection.

Come on! The health center offers free condoms! The administration is doing everything they can to empower me to act like a mad bunny (Not that I’ve needed any prodding)… the least you can do is make us wrap it up.

The last thing the up-and-coming generation needs are more “Can do!” stories from the media. What we need are REAL stories. I particularly enjoyed a show I watched on MTV a couple years ago where the producers picked up real young adults, and followed them... let our high school kiddies see the real consequences of children, of quitting school, of living paycheck to paycheck.

Real life is a better teacher than any Flash game, or “Can do!” teen pregnancy flick.

Yeah, my life was and is certainly no morality highlight from the fifties – but that doesn’t mean I condone it: Especially when I believe good chunk of humanity is several fries short of a happy meal.


I’m now going back to collecting pin-ups for my new apartment.


Giggity giggity goo!

Searching for pin ups…

Still trying to piece together how blogger’s redirect service works. On some days, this blog has gotten stellar numbers passing through, from people clicking the “random” blog button. Of course, the button is hardly random. Two things I’ve noticed, my chances of receiving traffic are much higher if I post that day, and secondly, if I make multiple, long posts. This is rather critical to getting traffic, especially for a new blog like this.

All those people coming from Dig seemed to have been interested in the “went home with the waitress” title… and somehow, I don’t think they were searching for Warren Zevon’s song. But whatever, sex sells, and I’m not about to judge. In fact, I’m actually in the process of expanding my personal pin-up collection. What better incentive to cover the walls with scantily clad women in risqué poses (aside from male hormones), than a new apartment?

The search is actually quite difficult. If I wanted straight-up porn posters, I’d just go by the nearest sex-shop or visit some bookmarks. On the other hand, I would like the portrait of our young female to be somewhat suggestive… and the old-school WW2 cheesecakes aren’t doing it for me. So it’s off to find a middle ground. Man Ray’s work, visible in the upper right, is exactly the sort of thing I’m looking for, preferably more sultry, but equally classy.

If you’ve got any suggestions, drop a comment.
Remember, the idea is to put up a poster that won’t make the first female visitor throw up her hands in disgust. I’m all for misogyny, but only after the night is through.


See the two pictorial examples of good and bad above. 

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Stressing over the small things…

…Is really a waste of my time. Nonetheless, preparing for this internship, trying to bulk back up (that won’t be happening until July), dealing with the finances (rather, dealing without finances), doing my duties for the Fraternity – all of those big stressors seem to create a two mile pile-up when they run into “cleaning the dishes” and “shopping for food”, or “Blogging to make sure blogger redirects”.

Unfortunately, the usual salves for these things (sex, pipe smoking, cigarette smoking, alcohol, salvia, America’s favorite herb), never provide a permanent solution. They are useful when you are facing circumstances out of your control and need to chill… but when you’ve GOT to get that cover letter written, or that blog post typed, suddenly you’re on your own.

(Although a drunken post may eventual provide ya’ll with some hilarity.)


So I’m just going to tackle the big things one at a time. Starting with this blog post. Making a list, as much as I resist it, always ensures I get at least the first thing done. And that is better than getting nothing done.

So, blog post…Food shopping… Cover letter… Fraternity…  and we’ll go from there.

Then we can get back to the Alcohol.


Saturday, June 20, 2009

Well I went home with the waitress…

…The way I always do. How was I to know, she was with the Russians to? (Actually, if anything, I think she would have been with OPEC.)

First let me recap some of the important bits – The Cult Blog is still pulling in the occasional reader, the charismatic individual who leads the little group is currently calling on a war against deceit, and if I get some time I’ll see about some other tangents. If you have any ideas for cultish-posts let me know, I’ll be happy to include them in the cult blog. Adsense revenue is low, but then, I really don’t expect these blogs to take any real chunk out of the thirteen grand.
No major parties on the horizon.
Sex was covered in my trip to Washington (though apparently not as explicitly as some readers would like.)
And as for Drugs… still waiting on a shipment of legal stuff, and SWIM probably isn’t going to cook anything hard until the fall.
Speaking of drugs… A friend’s roommate was finally busted for dealing the infamous marijuana. And since possession with intent is a nasty sentence in this state, he isn’t going to be contributing to the rent. Since the guy was a complete dick, and I felt bad for my friend, I made the courteous offer to be a replacement roommate… The rent, just three hundred a month, may have also factored in.
It’s such a sacrifice to move off campus… you know? Get a room to yourself, pay three thousand instead of four thousand for rent, and get your own kitchen, deck, and bathroom? Not have to deal with RA’s? Be able to finally give your liquor collection the monumental shrine it deserves?

Yeah, I'm going to sign that lease.

Internment in an internship.

I’ve returned from the capitol… All I can say is, wow. From the gorgeous eye-candy (I swear, the closer they are to power, the more beautiful women become) – to the megalithic monuments, and the museums, it was incredible.

Some great moments included a long conversation with a tipsy girl named Ashley on a bench outside of some embassy in the evening hours… Visiting the Air & Space museum (along with every other tourist in the city)… Hiking from one end of DC to the other (my leg still hurts)… chatting with an awesome young waitress who’s been around the world from Saudi Arabia to Louisiana… the hotel room that night… the hotel room that morning… and dealing with rush hour traffic on the way out.


I promise plenty of pictures in the coming days.


Anyways – I’m back.

And I have a letter in my inbox.

I have a three day internship opportunity. (I know, three days?)

The good news, it is at a hospital building in a nearby state, and I will be talking with and assisting a CPA. I’m hoping that this will help me decide whether or not to continue plans to drastically switch my major. There is a friend’s place nearby I’ll be crashing at… so that will make this trip cheap… and until next weekend when I leave, I’ll be studying every night.

But right now I’m still recovering from the trip.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

From Washington With 56k…

That was a long drive. A long drive. But I’m at an extremely well priced hotel in downtown Washington (cheaper than buying metro tickets + out of city hotel), the Windsor Park Hotel.


Nothing could have prepared me for seeing the pentagon in person. Just from the car, it possesses a scale and presence that is completely belied by video on television. That, and spotting the top of the Washington monument as I drove up a rise on 395N.

To tired to do much but sleep right now. That trolley ticket gets used tomorrow, then I hit the streets on Friday… I hope drinks are cheap here, but I doubt it. Some very nice eye-candy throughout the city… both architecturally, and pedestrian wise… can’t wait for some face-to-face contact in the morning. 

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Time to play the Tourist.

I’ve noticed a surge in ads targeting depression treatments on this blog. This has me completely mystified… after all, I’m blogging about unemployment, the crushing cost of higher education, a cult that I’ve founded, and how I’ve turned to the carnal pleasures of life to deal with the financial stress of it all. Depressed? Pfft.

I’m going to blame it on my decision to switch my major to accounting.

Anyways – It’s time to get the travel ads back, so here’s a paragraph about my recent purchase of a trolley tour ticket. Yes, its official, I’m waking up and driving seven and a half hours to the Capital tomorrow. Once there (if I can find a cheap hotel), I’ll take a trolley tour, find another cheap hotel/sleep in the car, and then go visit places such as the Smithsonian, Vietnam Memorial, and hopefully the Air and Space museum (the Hot Air and Empty Space museum is located at the White House).


Oh, I picked up a fresh pack of American Spirits. I figure I should splurge, before the FDA cracks down.


Moving to Live Writer

I know, I should be continuing to check up on hotel pricing, and figure out the intricacies of the DC metro as I prepare for a no-notice road trip to the Capitol. But I thought I’d give posting in Live Writer a brief shot first.

Hopefully, this will give me better control over the font (still can’t find one I like), and the ability to update without having to log on to the site itself (which is nice, for analytics purposes).

Sweet! Just noticed I can set a delay, and publish automatically at a future date. And I can preview with a full template? And I can futz with the source? I may be sold.

Anyways - consider this a filler post, content will be forthcoming. Especially if I can wash enough clothes in time to drive to DC.

Road Trip!

Washington D.C. – I may just be there tomorrow. When you’re near broke, still haven’t gotten any job leads, are questioning your future, and still getting over the results of minor alcohol poisoning – what better plan than to hope in your car, drive across three sates and visit the capital of the United States?

No, I’m not going to join the ranks of the homeless wandering the DC streets, or lobby for government aid to students… I’m just going to spend two or three days as a tourist… Since I may not get this opportunity again for a long time, it just might be the perfect plan.

Of course, I’d need to wash some clothes, get directions… but assuming I complete those droll tasks – at 8am tomorrow I’m going to hit the highway like a bat out of hell, lit cigarette in my mouth, stereo pounding, and with my ghetto car pushing the limits of its engineering.


On to the cult-blog… visits have dropped again, as has adsense. But since I haven’t advertised it in nearly four days, that drop is to be expected. I’ll start a new campaign this Friday (assuming I’m back from DC), and will be sure to alert you if anyone actually develops real interest in the fabricated organization. The youtube videos for the cult-blog are slowly gathering hits… I think they will be the key to really ramping up future traffic.

When I get some time, I’ll grab a friend and make a truly decent video, or five… and start the link dropping.

I know I promised a post about women, girls, and college females. I’ll get it done.

Heh, I’ve got enough stories…

‘Till then:

Follow, Follow, Follow - Do follow.

This blog is now a "dofollow" blog.

Basically, for those who don't know - "no follow" is a marker in the code that tells search engines (such as google) to ignore backlinks. If another blogger, for example, left a comment with his site's link on a "no follow" page, google would not count his link as a backlink.

As a high number of Backlinks is a critical part of getting good traffic, "No follow" sites are sometimes passed over in favor of sites that can generate backlinks.

What this means to you? A few spammers may start popping up in the comment box, however, we should experience increased traffic.

Just consider this filler while I chug more psyllium husk.

Accountants have fun to... I think?

I promised myself to write two new posts today, and I may still make that quota… but, fact is, I’m still experiencing some of the wonderful gastrointestinal symptoms of excess alcohol consumption. Remember kids – take your Metamucil BEFORE your liquor and beer.

Moving on -

There is something afoot when out of a sample of ten friends, two have joined the military, one had to drop from college and go tech due to financial reasons, two are juniors and nearing their fourth change in major, one is closing in on a fifth and final attempt to pass general education level writing, two are questioning their ability to stay due to rising costs, one is planning on transferring to another school, and the tenth is the only one out of that bunch with prospects of happily graduating… she will hold an art degree.

I myself am considering just about every option above, joining the military, transferring schools, switching major, and yes – dropping everything thing and taking up art.

On the military option, I’ve spent the last two summers speaking with a recruiter and filling out forms, but my pursuit of a tour in the National Guard has been crippled by dental-work (surgery/bone grafts etc.)… It will be next summer before I’m through all of that, and can enlist without too much hassle from meps. Money is not, and has never been my reason to enlist, but some of the deals they are offering college students would really ease my mind.

When it comes to transferring schools I have looked into all the other instate colleges (all of which are cheaper, save one, than my current institution)... however, my school is renowned for crippling its former students with classes that won’t transfer. Indeed, the guy who’s transferring will need to take an extra semester to make up for this. I don’t particularly want to stay in college an extra semester (more on this later), but after investing so much in this school, it’s hard to cut-bait. But cheaper tuition is so tempting…

As for doing the art thing… I may have exaggerated when I suggested this was an option. I enjoy some anime, and I appreciate the counter-culture side of it, but when it come artistic skills, I am sorely lacking. Once I thought art was easy… then I got some art major friends… I’d make better grades, and experience less stress as a Organic-Chem double major with Biology.

But I didn’t write this post to complain about not having any viable options. I am probably going to switch my major: At the cost of an additional year of school.

Political science is extremely enjoyable, its professors and its classes are not. I know three political science majors who are not professors… one is a National Guard recruiter, another a Volvo mechanic, a third works middle management at Lowes. I know, I know, there are plenty of other political science majors with a good career in government… but after all these semesters, I’m just tired of it. I want to switch my minor to my major, and vice-versa.

The good news, because Accounting…

Yes, I’d become an accounting major.


Cease the laughter.

Anyways –

The good news, because Accounting is my minor, I need to take a number of accounting classes this coming semester. I’ve already had a few Accounting classes, and really enjoyed them… I think taking these will confirm my desire to switch majors, and if not, I just keep right on the track I’ve been riding.

Just giving you, my dear readers, a heads up.

Monday, June 15, 2009

I'm Back and hungover... or is it overhung?

Iranian protesters for the opposition party are under fire by supporters of the current regime. This is not a surprise to me, and I fully expect the violence to escalate. Of course, the Iranian government is already working to shut down telecommunications and the media to limit a global view of the chaos. Although it was initially reported as “gunmen”, video leaking out of Iran shows their official police starting to become involved in the fray. Did anyone really believe this would be a bloodless election?

Had a blast this weekend, did I mention the bottomless Green God Damn? I remember some aspects of the party, a few moments of quasi-sobriety smoking with some girls on the back porch, serving shots, talking business… all of that good stuff. About a hundred people at midnight according to the guest log… absolute blast. I think I remember losing my shirt after the fifth tequila shot, it certainly wasn’t on me when I came too Saturday afternoon, sprawled on a couch alongside a cute brunette... alas both of our pants were in place.

I did make about two dollars off of these blogs over the weekend. So, I covered just less than half of my $5 all-access bar pass. Really need to work on the conversion of views to clicks. Data proves that without advertising the cult blog cannot stand on its own… views steadily decline without a constant source of publicity. I’m working to fix that, making it a bit more radical. All I need is one true-believer and things will really take off. I’ve got five more months…

I promise far more witty and riveting installments upcoming, including posts covering women, politics, and drugs. Right now I’m still recovering from Sunday morning and the send off party. Bookmark me, link to me, and if you see an ad that interests you, click it.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Pick your side...

These are truly grim times… and since I’ve covered drugs, the cult-blog, and college parties, I feel it’s time to get down to the political side of this blog (I am, after all, a political science major). Now, there are several different life-philosophies when it comes to government. Some of them I respect, one of them at least, I do not understand.

Recently, Congress passed legislation that if signed into law, will give the FDA the power to regulate nicotine yield in cigarettes, flavoring additives in cigarettes, and cigarette advertising. I am aghast.

Whatever your position on smoking, and I very much respect the opinions of non-smokers, this is clearly a level of government involvement that is heinous, and against every principle I hold dear.

Are we going to give them the power to regulate the alcohol content of Jack Daniel’s next? Or limit the amount of saturated fat in my burgers? They’ve already begun the processes of forcing me to buy cars that fit Big Brother’s definition of a utopia.

I am all for laws against public smoking, a listing of a cigarettes content, and what-not. The first is based on speculations (although after reading many medical reports, I believe false) of health hazards to non-smokers… and the other is giving power to the consumer. This is taking power away from the consumer.

It is shameful, and no different than the moralizing legislation the Left used to condemn. But then, no politician has ever shied away from hypocrisy. Either ban cigarettes flat out. Or let us pick our poison. Some of us like to experience our vices, and don’t give a damn about those who want to protect us from ourselves. I’ve had a close friend who came down with throat cancer, just one year into college… I still choose to smoke unfiltered.

Fix your own life, don’t legislate mine… and remember, the oldest woman who ever lived smoked until she reached 114... don't buy into all the fiction.

Any press is good press?

Number of things to cover today: First, Thank you to my readers, y’all are awesome – I really appreciate all of the emails and support. Second, massive party this Friday… so I may not update until Monday morning… bottomless green god damn at the door… I’m sure you understand.

On to the two other items:
Cult-blog Numbers leveled off yesterday, pulling out of a dangerous drop. Ad sense revenue was up last night, just under a dollar (Wow. Thirteen Grand one dollar at a time.) so not really what I need. Time for some more media stunts. We’ll begin by bashing the cult, and see if we can get some hits… extremism sometimes garners sympathy with the target. Let’s see if that theory holds.

Edit: Well, perhaps not support, or visits… but it kicked up a huge conversation. I wish Google analytics was up-to-the-moment… I could track individual attempts at traffic mongering.

Finally, my thoughts and prayers go out to the security guard killed while defending the Holocaust museum. An eyewitness report I heard, indicates the shooter never even made it all the way through the front door before he was incapacitated. Initial reports were unclear about the type of firearm used, but it was rather alarming to hear that the man (convicted thirty years ago for attempted kidnapping), was almost ninety.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Big Brother Google

Adsense revenue for the cult-blog stood at a stark $0.00 for yesterday. Hits were down too; lowest they’ve been since its third day. Since it hasn’t even been up a week, it is difficult to discern whether this is due to Tuesday traffic or my limited advertisement campaign that day. So far, the largest visit spike followed my most successful media campaign on Sunday… garnering a bunch of hits within about half an hour.

There is some good news – average time on site, and number of pages viewed per visit is on the rise. Those are good things. Now if they would just click the damn buttons. (A reminder, if you see a link that interests you, give it a click…). So far, working as a cult leader has taught me one thing –

The “don’t drink the kool-aid” joke is used, far, far too much. You think I’m kidding? Every single thread on yahoo answers about my cult starts with someone getting a few cheap laughs off of “Don’t drink the kool-aid”, or “Wait until everyone else has drunk the kool-aid”, or “Just have water instead of the kool-aid”. It really isn’t funny anymore, but it is proof that the phrase is ingrained in our society at a depth I never even imagined.


I would like to take this time to thank Big-Brother google. Without you, I wouldn’t know what cities my hits were coming from, what operating systems my visitors are using, what sort of connection, browser, screen colors, the site they came from, what they searched for… dear google, you are the PI’s wet dream.

(I was able to track down the myspace of one visitor, via some sleuthing and google’s tracking… ain’t that creepy?) But hey, I kiss my privacy goodbye every time I get on the internet. We do what we must do.

MTV creates another classic...

MTV is offering a flash game for those of us with debt… a chance to win up to $250, via lottery. You control a pink-piggy on a flaming jet-ski, and plow through obstacles in pursuit of the necessary stuff to support your chosen lifestyle. It's goal is to help teach financial responsibility.

Personally I think the first mistake piggy made was buying the jet ski.

I appreciate MTV’s attempt to educate us about spending, I appreciate that offer of $250 (I played and entered). The game is actually entertaining, and I spent some time sailing up and over ramps, and collecting tokens and debt. At the end though, I’m not sure what we’re supposed to take from this… and I feel it was actually a subversive advertisement campaign for sea-doo. Maybe I’m wrong, perhaps all of the times I’ve had to choose laundry over food, or gas over food, or rent vs. food have utterly failed to teach me the lessons of fiscal responsibility. Perhaps it took a pig and a water sport vessel to really shift my spending habits.

After all, I now want to buy a jet skit.

Or fry up some bacon.

Or have her fry me up some bacon. I prefer this idea.

Did I mention it’s called “Debt ski?” Get it? Ahahaha… haha… ha…no…

MTV, millions of teenybopper girls may follow your ‘reality’ programs with serious emotional investment, and I will credit you for swaying half my generation to blindly walk into the voting both… but come on. That old fart on Fox is more “hip”, and “down with the kidz”, than “Debt ski”.

Our generation is going to have to step up to the plate, buckle down and get things done… should a pretty pink piggy really be the mascot? I also laugh at the co-partner of “Debt Ski” – the Peter G. Peterson foundation, a hot-air politico group with an empty message of fiscal thrift.


One final comment: I will give MTV some credit. Debt Ski IS less patronizing and more fun than "Darfur is dying" ... but rates the same 0 on the education scale.

The Cost of Moving out

Well, I’ve been surprised by the number of hits to this blog. I wish I could breakdown the reasons: cult, drugs, sex, or the promised political theories? Whatever it is, y’all are streaming in. So, congratulations if you are a new viewer, and a sincere thank-you if a repeat customer.

Back to business, still no word on my most recent job applications… I’ll probably visit the local place tomorrow, hunt down the human resource manager and give him an offer he would be grievously chagrined to refuse. Then it’ll be a matter of passing that drug test… not that I would ever have reason to question my toxicity… I may be a walking poster for Bacardi 151, and camel, but drugs? Me? Nah…

(This feels like a good time to include the disclaimer that I do not promote, or encourage the use of illegal substances, and believe in moderation for everything... /innocence)

Onto today’s feature:
You would think, that the residency contract would allow the student to review their financial aid before committing themselves. But then, higher education is not interested in what’s best for the student. So, the deadline for breaking the residency contract without incurring a $150 fee, is roughly three weeks before we were slotted to receive our financial aid package. So just when I find out I can’t afford a residency contract (with requires a meal plan, and is experiencing a 6% hike)… I also find out I need to come up with $150.

Our running total is now: Thirteen thousand, one hundred and fifty.

You’re welcome to be an optimist and subtract the six dollars I’ve made off of the cult blog.

Entheogen abuse.

I don’t know what your stance is on the use of entheogens. Generally speaking, plants (or fungi), that are used as part of a religious ritual… often for their hallucinogenic effects. My stance is the one I use for everything – scaled moderation.

In the off chance you fail to comprehend that, let me make painfully clear: Everything has a unique level of proper use. Sex = as long you can keep getting it up. Weed = as long as there isn’t too much resin in the bowl. Meth = depends on if you’re using L-meth or D-meth. Schoolwork = as long as you’ll make a B, have another beer. Salvia divinorum? See below.

Ignorance is anathema to me. I am sick of watching youtubers completely fail to achieve the correct Savlia experience, as they attempt to take the biggest hit of the highest extract they can find. Compare it to watching a pair of new drinkers who skip the single-malt scotch for a bottle of Thunderbird, or sips keystone light instead of grabbing some red stripe, blue moon, or hell, ANYTHING else.

Salvia can’t be used like those twelve shots of tequila all lined up for you. You don’t just pop it back… you do that, and like doing those twelve shots, you’ll wake up the next morning without a single memory.

That’s fine with alcohol. Not with salvia. Because you’ve just missed what could have been the most epic hallucination of your life. We’re talking ego-death, revisited memories, purging of feelings, closed eye visuals of heaven and hell, and of the multiverse… what feels like a lifetime journey through your ass and back out your cranium, all in the real time of just five minutes. Read up on it. Email me. Educate yourself. Be aware of local laws, regarding Salvia and its more intriguing entheogen friends.

Do not roll into a joint. And do not buy that mass-market crap “purple sticky”.

I can give you a very good vendor at the cost of an email.

Honestly there are times I wish Salvia was like some of the poisonous entheo’s out there. Then at least I could have the satisfaction of watching stupidity get its just reward. But whatever, keep on sipping your keystone light, suckling on your bottles of Wild Irish Rose and MD 20/20.

Musing on Cult-Content

You Got That Rock N' Roll Soul
(Points if you can spot the lyrical references strewn throughout this blog)

There are some challenges to getting a cult out there. The first is crafting a message. At first, I intended to start all guns blazing – “here is the prophet reborn”, “Lo! There is a star in the east!” sort of stuff. I decided that was not going to work… and after some research into cults, and throughout the course of my advertising campaigns, I feel my other approach was justified.

You see, as it stands, my cult is really nothing more than a philosophy. It doesn’t offer salvation, its leader refuses to take donations, and there is no clear message. And that’s the rub… that is what gets people hooked (at least, that is theoretically what gets people hooked). Countless responses to innocent questions about the nature of my organization by puppet avatars, have been replied to with statements along the lines of “That’s how they all work, they ask for nothing at first, and then once they know all about you… boom.”

Sometimes, I think it is wise to do exactly as people expect you to.
I’m about to start some new advertisement campaigns, focusing on the fringe element of the internet. I’ll let you all know when I tackle /b/ - that will be fun.

(Ignore this link...)
Feed Shark

Monday, June 8, 2009

Who am I?

Well, I'm a college student. An upperclassmen. Heavily in debt to an institution that has only fueled my pursuit of alcohol, nicotine, mountain dew, sex, and rock and roll (none of that rap-crap though).

I'm a political science major, and a member of one of the top three Fraternities at the school. At parties, I'm the guy wearing fraternity letters who brings everclear and drinks it straight from the bottle.

I smoke only three types of cigarettes: Filtered American Spirits, Unfiltered Camels, and full size unfiltered Pall Malls. Entheogens? I've cut up, boiled, extrated, and acid washed more plant and fungal matter than Racheal Ray has ever put into soups. Other drugs? Swim may or may not have hypothetically violated local and national statutes that could have been in effect during the past years, but were never properly advertised by the government to insure that Swim would have known, had he potentially done substances of questionable legality .

I've been called mysogenist, but that doesn't stop the girls from lining up. Of course, I've also been called a gentleman, knight of good ole' southern values, and was told that I would "make a good father" (... That's when you gtfo asap). Really, I probably have enough material to designate myself a cult leader, but then... where's the challenge?

So stick around.

Let us see if I can make that thirteen grand, or at least cover my books.

(:cough: speaking of... if you see any advertisement that appeals to you... give it a click.)

Heeeey Baby, there ain't no easy way out...

I checked my email today. Financial Aid came through. So with some trepidation I glanced at the numbers, and with incredible willpower refrained from sticking my foot through the library computer. You see, once the $7,500 in new loans is factored out, I am expected to cough up thirteen grand. No way in hell, am I, an unemployed (though desperately job hunting, 30+ applications and counting) college student going to get that much money.

This time last year, at least, I had a steady job and was getting offered a cut in five-pounds of marijuana (alas it fell through). Currently, I have $4 in the bank account, working odd jobs and desperate to raise the exorbitant cost of instate (not even out of state) public tuition. But I'm not one of those emo freshmen that walk onto campus complaining about a lack of razor blades... not me... I'm an upperclassmen by God and Professor! So, what does any political science major of this generation do when faced with economic crisis?

Start a cult.


Oh yeah.

You think I'm kidding? I've gotten hits from all over the world, and the cult site has only been up for two days. I've made adsense revenue while I slept (A total of $6... um... ). It is led by a charismatic individual who quit middle management to achieve enlightenment, has five word name, and lacks any real content. I've put more effort into writing papers for professors than I have in this site (THAT is saying something).

Hitch a ride, I may not be the next Jim Jones... but my college of choice may want to be careful, lest I step onto campus backed with a mob of True Believers.

Oh... this is really a blog about alcohol, fraternity parties, drug dealing, entheogens, women, entrapment, personal growth, achievement, and is ground zero of the grassroots campaign for a limited franchise, imperialist system with foundations in nationalist philosophy.