Monday, July 6, 2009

Scented Candles? What was I thinking?

Packing is never fun. You know it, I know it, there’s no point in pretending. Not only is there the physical effort of moving ones crap from one box to another, but you have to deal with the emotional side too.

Remember, just because it cost you a fortune only to end up forgotten in a closet, doesn’t mean it’s a reflection on your character. That said, I really have no excuse for the orange-slice shaped scented candles I found in my closet. Or the four brass candle sticks hidden in a cupboard.


I don’t even remember buying half this shit.

A few empty liquor bottles, and some disturbing beer cans with a funky smell were discovered in the back of an old closet. And an ancient pack of unfiltered camels made an appearance from a small shelf, tucked inside an even older shoe (possibly dates from when I was underage to smoke? But I wouldn’t have had to hide them! Meh, a mystery for the ages). Two condoms appeared amidst a bunch of old papers… but as there are few things are worse than old, dry condom sex… they were pitched.

In short, I’ve been wallowing in mountains of the cheap incarnations of my paychecks for the past couple of hours. I did find some more air rifle ammunition. But on the whole, I have simply reaffirmed that my money is best spent on consumables. Those old bottles of 151? Do they try and guilt trip me like those scented candles? No. They don’t.

In fact, I can’t even remember those nights. Probably because they were just to epic.

Up yours, responsible spending, take a Debtski, and run it up your wallet.


Sunday, July 5, 2009

Newcastle kick.

For the past two days, I’ve been going through New Castle six packs like candy. Something about the smooth ale has captured my fancy for the moment, and I am on a bit of a ale kick. It doesn’t help that I have a fridge full of alcohol as a result of finally moving in to my new apartment!


Full kitchen, giant bedroom, large living room – balcony… the place is awesome. As is my roommate, a laid back member of my Fraternity. I could wax poetic about breaking the shackles of Residence Life, starting afresh, the mountains of empty booze bottles that mark my arrival parties. The list of suitably romantic material goes on.

This Thursday, I will be breaking my Res-Life contract and going job hunting. As the apartment is in a bigger city than my old base of operations, I’m hoping for more job opportunities. I also need to get to printing out those pinups

Jews and Red Heads.

I hooked up with Miss Red Head somewhat early… I was expecting to spend some time with her later in July, however the internship landed me within an hour’s drive of her summer-school. Something about matching carpet and drapes attracts me like Argentinean women attract Gov. Sanford. I spent a wonderful two nights, and then drove back down to my new apartment (more on that later).


Speaking of Sanford, I would like to revise my earlier position – I’m now certain he is mental (remember, I am an avowed libertarian, and supported many of his policies). Not only are his actions inconsistent with a reasonable human being, but his emails and speeches are completely divorced (heh) from reality.

You don’t ask your wife if you can go visit your mistress. Repeatedly.

At least he obeyed the forty mile rule.


On another note – the local citgo carries Organic American spirits. Not only does the organic variety have better looking packaging, but the taste and flavor is cleaner, and makes my mouth water with anticipation. Five stars, I almost prefer them to my Lucky Strikes and Unfiltered Camels.

I was sitting, smoking one of them at the Carowinds theme park, when a black dude came over to light up. Noting the isolation of our smoking section from the rest of the park he commented, and I quote: “Man, they got us back here like jews or something.”

He was dead serious too.

Smokers… the new Jews.


Yes I’m back.

Wow… last week was a haze of good times, alcohol, and explosives. Many, many posts forthcoming.

Let’s start with the internship: It went extremely well, and cemented my decision to switch majors to accounting. For those looking to grab a bit of experience, it would be well worth your time to pull an internship. If at all possible, try to network with a friend of a friend – to insure that the experience is more than just fetching coffee. As it was, I had a blast, and learned a great deal from a management perspective.

But you’re not really interested in that – so let me get to writing the REAL posts